Scars
by Tifa Gainsborough
Summary: Yuffie is crying out for help, looking for a savior. Gaining the most unexpected allie of all. ~*Complete*~
1. Chapter 1

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Dedicated to Jenzy. Without her story I would have never seen Yuffie in a different light. Thanks Jen.

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I don't know what it is about the pain that I like so much. Maybe it's watching the light dance off my skin as the knife moves. Perhaps it's the feeling of control that I have over my miserable life. I don't know what it is, but I also don't really care. The scars run up my upper arm, just below the shoulder. Nobody can see them there and I hide them as though I'm ashamed of them. If people can't deal with it, well they can simply fuck off for all I care. Longer sleeves are able to cover them when I go out in public.

Staring down at the blade I can almost feel my heart quickening. In my mind I can hear the screams of my father, telling me what a horrible daughter I turned out to be. Not that I care what the old man thinks but I do everything for Wutai. For my fucking city and nobody gives a damn. Daddy dearest can just sit on his little hill grow fat and die while I do everything. 

Three years ago he had actually given a flying fuck about me. Called me his "Ninja Savior" he would. Always wanted to show me off to the public. Because I had went out and risked my neck to save this miserable excuse of a planet. Of course those days were long gone and all my supposed friends had forgotten about me. Pulling away from my miserable thoughts of the past I return to the present. 

My room is in shambles as I perch on my bed. The blade is poised as I contemplate my next scar. My leg or my arm, the choice is always so difficult. Biting my lower lip a position the knife above my upper thigh and pull. Its over quickly but the pain remains. That's what I wanted to feel the pain. Deep inside myself a little voice is saying something. It never say's to stop but to continue. Perfectly fine with me, I'd rather continue than stop. 

My legs are a mass of scars and it reminds me of being alive. These are things that nobody can take away from me, things I have complete control over. My life may be in shambles, my future a dark and empty one, but this is now. This is my control, my escape. My body is moving, dressing to cover my shame. Everything is so automatic now I don't even have to think. I move towards Turtle Paradise where I work without even having to think. It pisses daddy off so it's a perfect place for me. 

Every time I pick up a bottle in that bar I want to add another scar to my body. Another reminder that my life is hell. The sound of the drunken laughter makes me angry. Angry with myself that I can no longer laugh like that. As though the world doesn't exist and my pain is just a figment of my imagination. But when I walk back to my lonely room I know its real. 

Life moves on without me. People come and go in my life but rarely remain. But the scars remain and my doubt always grows. I want to scream and cuss out the world. No, I want to scream at myself, tell myself to be stronger. But the pep talks never work and there is nobody in my world to tell me to cheer up. When they do say something it is always fake. 

"Yuffie cheer up" or _"Don't worry Yuffie, tomorrow will be better"_. 

But tomorrow is never better it just always gets worse. Sometimes putting myself out of my misery would be best but I can never drag myself into doing it. I'm not afraid; I just don't want to leave. I would miss the blue sky that always brings me down. But why give up all this control for only one moment? Not worth my effort. 

But the scars are my escape. Perhaps one day I will beat them. Give up my lonely days for fun filled adventures. 

I'm losing control.

Losing self.

Losing hope.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Authors Note: Short angsty Yuffie stuff. First time I've ever written a story focused on Yuffie. Don't know how else to explain it. If you want in depth explanation e-mail me.

Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns everything mentioned in this fic.


	2. Chapter 2

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Dedicated to Scarr. Who's beauty shines through her work and inspires me.

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The chalk was chipping off as I drew the boxes in the rocky ground. A cool breeze caressed the tree's and pulled playfully at my hair. Leaning farther over, I put the finishing touches on the box. Then quickly, I went back and put a number in each box. Brushing my hands off, I stood up to admire my work. 

Searching the ground I found a good shaped rock and picked it up. Tossing the rock onto my perfect hopscotch squares I proceeded to play the old game. Memories were seared into my brain, of playing this game as a child. Listening to the other children laughing. Shaking the memories away I began to play.

The sun beat down on my bare shoulders. Hopping from square to square, I begin to whistle a slow tune. The tune was something my mother would sing to me when I was younger. The actually lyrics were lost with time, but the tune was one I could never forget. 

Hopscotch was one of those games children grew up with. Everyday we would run up here, multi colored chalk in hand. Under the watchful eye of Kinutora, the Lady of Wutai. The children would escape from the world that was around them. But when she died, nobody would come and watch the children. 

"Well Yuffie girl," I whispered out loud to myself. "You are the Lady of Wutai now."

Cool breeze tickled my bare arms, sending shivers down my spine. Up here, away from the prying eyes of the world, I could be myself. Have no fear and don't feel like I need to hide the shame that crisscross my body. I continue to play my game, knowing full well how they look in the sun. The most recent cuts are angry welts, others have faded and are dull looking. But each has a story behind it, a tale that is easier to cut than to say.

With the trained eye of a ninja I can catch any sudden movements around me. Even the more subtle movements of the tree's shifting in the wind. How I let him slip past my guard I don't know. I had lost myself in the game, in the memories of the past.

  
"Pretty princess playing her game," a voice sneered from behind me.

It has been three years since I last heard that voice, but I would never be able to forget it. A cold voice that was as confident as it was rude.

But instead of throwing a sneering comeback, I simply continue to play the game. Jumping from one foot to the next, tuning out the world. Turning I finally spotted him, leaning against a tree, arms crossed over his chest. In three years he hadn't changed. His expression still was the same, his eyes still cold, filled with an eternal hatred. His flame red hair was the same length, still held up by those ridiculous sunglasses. 

The blue Turk uniform was gone. Replaced by regular jeans and a rumpled blue shirt. A black jacket completed the look. 

"Is the kid having fun," Reno asked, pushing away from the tree. 

  
"I'm not the kid you remembered me to be," I stated, stopping to watch him approach. 

"You certainly don't look like the kid I last saw in Midgar," he said, looking me up and down. "Your innocent look is no longer."

"That was a long time ago."

I watched him with calm eyes as he stopped a few feet from me. I felt his eyes drinking me in and I fought to not cross my arms over my chest. He had always had a way of making people feel small. I still wasn't sure why I let it effect me so much. 

His eyes narrowed sharply and I frowned. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see my jacket laying across the face of a rock. I made a lunge for it but he moved swiftly. His right hand closed over my arm, jerking me to a stop. 

"Let go," I ordered, trying to shake out of his grip.

Ignoring me, he ran his fingers over the scars that crisscrossed my arms. That sharp look in his eyes disappeared, being replaced by one of confusion.

"Something tells me these aren't battle scars," he murmured, glancing down at my legs. "What are you doing?"

"Who asked you to care?" I snapped, still trying to get free.

A smirk crossed his features and that confident look leaked back into his cobalt eyes. I never even thought about my next action, I simply let reflexes takes over. My left hand connected loudly with his right cheek. My whole body was trembling, yet still he didn't release me.

"Let go!" I ordered sharply, a gust of wind blowing my long hair into his face. 

Glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, he continued to smirk. Hand raised again, ready to deliver another strike. A steely grip caught my wrist, his fingers digging into my skin. 

"Reno, I said let-"

The caresses of warmth against my lips halted the words. For a moment, all the world stopped for me. I had been expecting everything but this. His hand still gripped my left wrist, trapping me too him. 

A cool brush of rough skin against my cheek sent a shiver racing through my body. His eyes were closed, hiding all emotions he may have been feeling. 

Raising my right leg slowly, I grabbed the handle of the knife, hoping that my actions were going unnoticed. Holding the handle in a steady grip, I moved. 

The tip of my blade pressed dangerously into the side of his neck. He pulled back slightly, eyes slowly sliding open. A dangerous smile warned me too late of the trap. His blade was positioned at the hollow of my throat. I had been so preoccupied with gaining my own advantage, I forgot to give him the credit he deserved. He was a Turk after all. 

His cool eyes locked onto mine. There was no laughter in his eyes, his face completely serious. 

"Now babe, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way," he whispered, his breath warm on my face.

I smiled at him, portraying to him that I was game. 

"Let's decide on three," I said. 

Our voices become one as we counted down.

"One."

His trademark smirk graced his featured.

"Two."

I kept my smile, increasing the pressure on my blade.

"Three."


	3. Chapter 3

The next few seconds would pass in a blur. I knew my skills as a ninja would keep me alive, but I never realized that Reno was so fucking fast! Just seconds after the word 'three' had died away, he took action. My right breast still tingled where his fingers had brushed it as he shoved me away. It has been so swift he probably hadn't even noticed.

But I noticed. And I would never forget. 

"Afraid?"

I knew I shouldn't be taunting him. If this little tiff grew into a full argument, he would have the advantage. He was taller and although didn't look it, much stronger than I was. 

"Of you? Don't flatter yourself."

There he was, the same cocky Turk from the days of Shinra. Yet, I knew he was prone to taking orders. Perhaps he would be able to…

"Oh come on," I teased him. "You know you want to kill me. Have since the day we first met."

Sliding his knife back in the sheath, he looked away from me. Was I that hideously scarred that he was even unable to look at me.

"You don't want to die," he explained calmly. Yet I could hear the strain in his voice. He was fighting off some hidden demon and so far was winning.

"And what makes you think that? I do want to die."

"No! You don't want to die," he snarled, spinning on his heels to face me. "Or you wouldn't be doing that to yourself."

I was taken aback. Reno's words had unnerved me greatly. The last thing I wanted to do was reveal that to him. But I was afraid my face was beginning to flush. I could already feel the burning sensation of tears forming in my eyes. My voice threatens to betray me and I refused to talk.

"Look, Yuffie-"

"Forget it!" I managed, before breaking down.

The wind lashed at my face as I ran. My jacket had been left behind, but it didn't matter. Either come back for it later, or even buy another one. The only important thing was getting away.

Getting away from those accusing eyes. But more about getting away from that sound I had heard in his voice. The emotional strain, something not characteristic of cold hearted Reno of the Turks. 

Running to my home. Racing to my room. Escaping into my sanctuary of misery. 

~*~*~

By the time I awoke, the sun was well below the horizon. Night had swiftly decended on the Planet and my body ached to go back to sleep. Yet, my sense could feel something was wrong. The unfamiliar scent pierced my nose, drawing me into a heightened sense. Somebody was in my home without my consent. 

"Are you aware that you cry in your sleep?"

Shooting off the soft mattress, I groped for anything to use to fend off my intruder. Callused palms brushed my soft skin. Fingers dug dangerously deep in my flesh, driving me back to the mattress. 

"What's the matter Princess," Reno sneered, his warm breath caressing my right ear. "Your door was wide open, you practically invited me in."

"Get off of me," I ordered, trying desperately to kick him off. "And don't call me that!"

"But that's your title," he commented, refusing to move. "And you give orders so well. Anything else, Princess?"

"I…"

"Anything else, Princess?"

"Get the hell off of me!" I stormed, happy to have found my voice again. 

The bed creaked as Reno climbed off. My hands instantly shot to my bruised flesh, falling over them in a protective gesture. Damn that Turk!

"Even if my door was wide open," I said, pushing myself into a sitting position, "you had no right to enter. Why the hell are you here anyways? You made me cry, showed me how vulnerable I was. That wasn't good enough for you? Had to come back and rub it in my face?"

With the dim light, I was unable to see the expression on his face clearly. A wicked smile? Or perhaps his trademark smirk. Something light landed on my legs, surprising me.

"I just thought you might like to have your jacket back," Reno explained. The tone of his voice sent shivers up my spine. He sounded almost, hurt.

"I'm sorry."

"For what! For thinking that the only reason I came here was to make fun of you. Or perhaps even rape you while you sleep," Reno snarled, his voice far from sounding hurt. His voice even made me feel like he would tear me apart with his bare hands. "Hate to break it to you angel. But I'm not this horrible monster you make me out to be. Besides, a little kid like you isn't my type."

Little kid? Why must everybody automatically assume I am a little kid?

"I am not a little kid," I retorted, straightening my back. "I am almost twenty years old."

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. Why the hell would Reno care how old I was? He had to be in his thirties. My age would seem like a kid to him.

"Older than I thought," he said in an off-handed manner. Giving me the impression that he could care less. "Only a few years younger than me."

"What? Only a few-"

His laughter cut me off. "Only twenty-five myself. Don't give me any bull about not looking it. They don't hire baby-faced pretty boys in the Turks. An older appearance pays off."

The room was silent for a few minutes. I was afraid to say something stupid. I don't know why he refused to talk. Perhaps thinking of something to say took him longer than normal people. Maybe being a Turk required little thinking and this was very stressful on him.

"Wanna talk about it?"

His sudden question caught me off balance. I knew he was implying the scars adorning my body. But I didn't feel like discussing it. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I slowly shook my head.

"No."

"Apparently talking about it is suppose to help," he said. "Or some shit like that."

My hand rose swiftly to cover the smile my lips betrayed. His eyes lit up, catching a glimpse of the smile before I could hide it. Dragging over a chair, Reno sat across from me. I really couldn't believe that this was happened. Of all the people on the Planet, it would be Reno that I would be talking to.

"As soon as Sephiroth was defeated, we began instant celebrates," the words were flowing out of my mouth. Now that I had started, there was no turning back. "Everybody wanted a piece of us. We were told what to do, where to be, how to act, what to say. They paraded us around, making sure they had control of our every move. People like Godo were the worse. Showing me off like I was a fucking trophy."

Taking a deep breath, I paused for a moment. I could hardly read the expression on Reno's face. Yet he said nothing, giving me the opportunity to continue.

"And then the hype began to wear down. Everybody else got to escape from it. Yet they didn't have to deal with Godo. He continued to lead me around by the little hand like I was a child. It was really then that it started. The only control I had over myself was over my own body."

Tears welled in my eyes. I didn't want Reno to see me cry. Yet if I brushed them away, he would know what I was doing. 

"It's okay to cry," he whispered. "It's okay to be angry."

Through the layers of shadows I stared at him. It was hard to believe Reno had just said that. Perhaps this was just some crazy dream. The sharp sting on the soft flesh I pinched told me it was far from a dream. Brushing the tears away angrily, I forged ahead.

"I hated Godo because I wish I could blame him for this. But I can't because really, it wasn't his fault. I just wasn't strong enough to put up with the way he controlled my life," I paused, staring up at the black ceiling. "I was so happy before and during my time with AVALANCHE. I just never imagined life would be hell after it."

"Godo is to blame," Reno said, stretching his arms over his head. "At least partially to blame. He royally fucked up your life and probably doesn't even realize what he has done."

"I highly doubt that."

"Then why don't you tell him how you feel," Reno suggested. "Tomorrow, you go and tell him how you feel."

I'm sure Reno thought everything would be okay after that. But I had my doubts. What would Godo think if I came in and told him all this? But what harm was there in trying?

"And then what?"

Reno smiled, the first genuine smile I had ever seen on his lips. "Then, we go to Junon and you can begin a new life."


	4. Chapter 4

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Dedicated, with much love, to all my friends. 

~*~*~*~*

Reno was laughing, his voice echoing off the walls of my small house. Rough fingers tapped my chin as I watched him. His strong arms wrapped around his thin waist, doubled over with laughter.

"Did you see the look on his face? It was classic."

"Reno?"

I prayed he didn't hear me. He didn't

"I can't believe how red his face was," Reno paused to take a breath of air. "I thought he was going to swallow his tongue."

I smiled lightly, glad he was enjoying this. Glad somebody was enjoying it. I did not regret the words I spoke to my father only a few minutes ago. But I found no joy in them. My mind was too busy focusing on the way the setting sun turned Reno's hair to flames. 

My fingers ached to weave trails through locks of flames. To feel his callused hands on my tainted skin. Simply to taste him again. A sharp shake of my head sent the thoughts scattering. 

His laughter was beginning to grow on my nerves.

"Reno," I said, putting force into my voice. 

That razor-sharp laughter cut through my words. It was now or never and never was too far off. My hand snaked out, catching the front of his jacket. Silence abruptly filled the room as I used his jacket as leverage. Pulling myself to my feet, pulling myself to him. 

"Yuffie?"

My lips upon his drove any questioning from his mind. My fingers tugged at the band in his hair, releasing a waterfall of surprisingly soft locks. Hoping to receive a reaction, any reaction. _Come on Reno, _I pleaded silently. _Touch me. _

But he didn't move, hands frozen at his side. I shoved him away, hands clenched with an anger that stemmed from the pain in my heart. 

"Damn you!" I shrieked, wanting nothing more than to leap out a window. "Why can't you tou-"

He grabbed me, lips forceful yet soft. Hands exploring under folds of cotton. I welcomed him, pulling him down to the bed. Enjoying the comforting weight of his body against mine. 

He pulled away slightly. "Is this what you want?"

"Y-yes," I moaned, fingers tugging frantically at his jacket. 

I wanted this, I told myself; enjoying the feel of coldness on my bare skin. I wanted every moment of it.

~*~*~

He was sleeping. In sleep, he was beautiful, calm and beautiful. Those rough lips, the gentlest of caresses on my skin, lacked their usual smirk. The tip of his tongue, that brushed fire across my body, jutted obscenely between his parted lips. 

Propping myself up on a few pillows, I watched him sleep. I had wanted this, no regrets would come of this day. But still, something did not seem right. Glancing at my arms, I saw it. The interlaced marks of my shame. This had been my control. 

__

But now… Reno.

Maybe it was time now that I reached out for another form of control. Slowly, I reached out to him. Cradling his sleeping form against me. He moaned, arms snaking their way around my waist. Head resting on my breasts, hair tickling the delicate skin. 

For once I had seized control. Grabbed life and brought it down to my level. To make it stop and wait for me. And it felt wonderful. 

"But is this real?" I whispered. "Or have I simply built myself a castle in the sky."

If Reno heard, he remained silent. _Whatever it is, I will find out._

~*~*~

When Reno wakes up tomorrow, he will be alone. I didn't want to leave him like that. But I didn't want to go to Junon with him either. So I left. One bag, all of my most precious items, fit into one bag. Yet I had left one thing behind. 

A silver locket, engraved with the Kisaragi Clan symbol. The only possession I had received from my mother, I left with Reno. Boarding the small boat, I gave Wutai a final glance. I never wanted to go back. This was my new beginning. I was leaving my old home behind, ready to begin anew. 

The motors of the boat hummed to life, water churning under my feet. I was the only one watching Wutai slip from sight. For a second, I could have sworn I saw Reno. His wild hair ablaze in the sunlight. He was waving to me, wearing my locket. 

__

Go find yourself, he said. _I'll wait._

Blinking, the vision vanished as swiftly as it came. He was not there, most likely still curled up, oblivious to the world. Pulling the jacket tighter around my shoulders, I sighed. In my rush to leave, I had grabbed Reno's jacket. 

Raising the collar to my face, I inhaled deeply. His scent, the material was imbedded with it. It was the sweetest scent, because it was his. It was him.

Tossing my head back, I let the wind have it's way with my hair. 

"I'm going to find myself," I whispered to the wind. Hoping it would bear my words to sleeping ears. "Wait for me."

~*~*~

Beads of rain clung to my hair, plastering it to my face. Pulling the collar of my jacket closed, I continued on. Lightening laced the darkened clouds with silver. I don't know what brought me to Junon. Then again, I did more traveling now on a whim then in the past. I had left Wutai two years ago. Walked away from everything.

__

And I found myself.

If I told myself it was easy, I would be lying. Telling my problems to Reno had been easy. Explaining them to somebody who wanted to help, that had been another issue. 

I hadn't seen Reno in those two years. At times, my mind played tricks on me. Casting his reflection in windows, tickling my nose with his scent. The sound of his laughter sparking a twinge in my heart. 

My feet pounded the pavement. Right foot sinking into a puddle, rain water cascading everywhere. The neon lights reflected in the water caught my attention. Teeth chattering, I ducked into the bar. Locks of hair clung to my cheek as I shook my head. Peeling the waterlogged jacket from my arms, I hung it up. 

My arms were open to the world. Everybody could see my scars. But it didn't matter, they were simply scars. _And scars symbolize the past_

Weaving my way through the crowded tables, I made my way to the bar. 

"What can I get you sweetie?" the bartender asked, as I lowered myself into a chair. 

"Beer," I answered, smoothing back my hair. 

With a smile, the bartender retrieved my beer from below the counter. Tossing the correct gil on the counter, I took the bottle with a nod. He had smelt of alcohol the first time I saw him. I was repulsed by the scent at the time. But now, I welcomed it. 

Raising the bottle to my lips, I could sense the heat of a body behind me. Smiling, I ignored it. Most likely a busied waitress, taking a momentary pause. 

Lowing the bottle, my body stiffened. On the bar, catching the dancing light, was something silver. Beer on the bar, I reached out with shaky fingers. The familiar engraving of the Kisaragi Clan symbol pressed against my thumb. 

"Thought you might like that," a rough voice behind me explained. 

__

He had kept it! 

I was in his arms, throwing him off balance. Reno's strong arms came up, pulling me to him. Tears blurred my vision. But I could make out his face, the familiar scars adorning his features. 

"You were right." Rising on tiptoes I whispered in his ear. "I didn't want to die. I just didn't know it at the time."

"And what made you realize it," he asked, his fingers running gently through my hair.

"You."


End file.
